Comedy Night- Done!

It's the day after the Comedy Store fundraiser and my few minutes in the spotlight seems an eternity away as I sit at a desk adorned in tracksuit bottoms whilst adolescent boys are told how best to get their heart working anaerobically.

The night appears to have been an unequivocal hit. Not only did we raise 6k for charity but all of the comedians had absolute stormers. I will give a very quick summary of the show; emphasis on very quick as most readers will have been there. Howard was brilliant as usual despite saying he was trying new stuff out, Jarred Christmas had me absolutely wetting my pants with his Ninja joke as well as his material getting his unborn child to pronounce Guacamole incorrectly. Benny Boot the languid Antipodean was top quality as usual and Lloyd Langford who has the world's greatest Welsh accent smashed it with his effortlessly amusing stories.

Now I guess I should give a bit of self analysis of my own performance. Admittedly I was in an unfair environment as a lot of punters knew me but I still had to not be crap. ITN were filming for London tonight so I had been wracking my brains trying to think of cricket material and I opted for what, no matter how you glaze it, was a pretty cheesy pun. It should hopefully entertain the old dears watching the news at 6pm.

Kyle Bubbly just about managed to follow my wake :). No in all seriousness he was hilarious-not just material wise but also his face, hair and pseudo African American voice with a geezer twinge had everyone in pieces. Matty Grantham's slow paced punchy delivery was a welcome change in pace before Mr Jack Whitehall closed the show brilliantly even if he does wear skinny jeans. it was all hosted by the lovely hobbit geezer that is Rich Wilson. I just hope it has a knock on effect and helps boost interest in the send off party on 19th March, which should be a top quality bash.

I imbibed a few beverages last night for almost the last night. And for anyone who loves slightly well known people, I ended up drinking in this private members bar in town where Mathew Horne and Kathy Burke were drinking. I didn't actually talk to them I just said, "Gavin and Stacey' & "Kevin and Perry Go Large" really loudly near them. As soon as I can get my mug on the TV it's private members bars ahoy!

The Press Launch on Tuesday 27th February

Above are some snaps from the press launch...obviously; you wouldn't set up a cricket pitch in Trafalgar square and not invite a few people to watch. There were genuinely loads of people with cameras gathered so I think a big thank you has to go to our PR team Captive minds for getting me on London tonight (although you see me for about half a second). I didn't get to field or bat in this match but most people don't know that. I will be now telling everyone I smashed a 6 into Nelson's Column. It's like when somebody asked if I was playing cricket on the very top of Mount Everest; of course that's impossible and the girl who asked was obviously a little bit intellectually selective (that's a PC way of saying thick). I told her we were not doing this but in retrospect I should have said 'yes', because it sounds cooler and as a moron she wouldn't know that I was massively equivocating.

The PR was really useful, however, I'm now going to rant about PR and advertising. A lot of my friends work in this field and although it has its uses I really resent the whole industry. This fire of hatred has been reignited in me after a discussion with my friend Be about blogs. He loves advertising and always bangs on about the importance of blogs in the modern world. When I asked what he thought about mine he said it wasn't niche enough. I'm writing about playing cricket on Everest: seems pretty bloody specific to me. He meant that I digress and talk about different topics too much therefore it will never get a lot of people subscribing to it, which I would love to contest but then again I'm talking about PR and advertising in a cricket blog: I have been caught with my hand in the metaphorical cookie jar.

It's this criticism of his that irks me about the media industry. Why can't I write a blog about what I want and digress and talk nonsense about social situations and things I notice? Apparently because it's not what people want to read and will not get me anywhere. That is exactly what is wrong with the world of the media, and this is a word which I think encapsulates it in one, manipulative. It's a world that is concerned with how everything you do, whether it's a blog, the way you dress or the angle at which you scratch your right buttock, can help project an image to others. I'm obviously aware that as a stand up comedian it appears that pandering to other people is something which I'm paid to do. I, however, say stuff that I think is funny and hopefully other people do, which means I have fun and enjoy myself. Therefore, why do people always worry about every minute detail in their life and how it will reflect upon them? Instead, do something because it's enjoyable and don't worry whether you have catchy angle. This may not be profound but I'm just sick to death of listening to people talk phony nonsense about unimportant crap using buzz words such as, 'niche', 'demographic', 'social trend' and phrases like, 'an idea I fully believe in'.

Now just to clarify I'm not a hippie or anything like that but if I want to digress and talk about pointless stuff, so what? It's enjoyable and is for my own pleasure not to appease some random bloke called Marcus, who dresses trendy and is totally in touch with the new socio-economic trends of 2009.

rant over.

Festive Thoughts

It's now officially the time of year where no one does anything apart from eat and argue with their families. The week before New Year's Eve is a temporal no man's land and I'm in the middle of it. It can't be all bad because now I can write more blogs.


I thought I would make this a general catch up about what's happened in the last couple of weeks rather than going back to June 2008. Although, it is this time of year when people reflect on the year just gone and generally say, 'It's been a rubbish year, let's hope next year is better'. This is either because British people are always negative and cynical or every year is in fact pants. Someone you know always dies and something global and crap happens, this year it was the credit crunch. My prediction for next year is that a great great great Uncle will die of old age and a global herpes epidemic will have hit Britain.

Fitness has undoubtedly declined slightly as I have been eating ridiculous amounts of tuck and imbibing grog everyday for the last week, which has taken a toll on me especially as I have reduced my alcohol intake over the last few weeks. Although, as many of my pals who have real jobs have time off at the moment, we have played a few games of 5-aside football courtesy of the sports hall I have free access to.

As a team we have chosen to change one of the charities from Sport Relief to The Lord Taverners, who are a cricket charity aimed at helping disabled children feel more integrated in society with their sporting programmes. It may not be such a Hollywood charity as Sport Relief but they have been much more keen on our project and want to work with us. I know charities have many things to organise and sort but if you are not going to get behind a project like this then that seems, in my humble opinion, to be foolish. Anyway on a positive note I'm about a 3rd of the way to my personal fundraising target and let's hope the project keeps building momentum.

Kirt and Curry are currently in Nepal sorting out some logistical stuff, so my thoughts are with them: That makes them sound dead, they aren't. Just to clarify they are alive and well and are probably drinking Nepalese beer whilst having women of the night push their services upon them.


in a bit