Friday 30 January 2009

The Press Launch on Tuesday 27th February






Above are some snaps from the press launch...obviously; you wouldn't set up a cricket pitch in Trafalgar square and not invite a few people to watch. There were genuinely loads of people with cameras gathered so I think a big thank you has to go to our PR team Captive minds for getting me on London tonight (although you see me for about half a second). I didn't get to field or bat in this match but most people don't know that. I will be now telling everyone I smashed a 6 into Nelson's Column. It's like when somebody asked if I was playing cricket on the very top of Mount Everest; of course that's impossible and the girl who asked was obviously a little bit intellectually selective (that's a PC way of saying thick). I told her we were not doing this but in retrospect I should have said 'yes', because it sounds cooler and as a moron she wouldn't know that I was massively equivocating.

The PR was really useful, however, I'm now going to rant about PR and advertising. A lot of my friends work in this field and although it has its uses I really resent the whole industry. This fire of hatred has been reignited in me after a discussion with my friend Be about blogs. He loves advertising and always bangs on about the importance of blogs in the modern world. When I asked what he thought about mine he said it wasn't niche enough. I'm writing about playing cricket on Everest: seems pretty bloody specific to me. He meant that I digress and talk about different topics too much therefore it will never get a lot of people subscribing to it, which I would love to contest but then again I'm talking about PR and advertising in a cricket blog: I have been caught with my hand in the metaphorical cookie jar.

It's this criticism of his that irks me about the media industry. Why can't I write a blog about what I want and digress and talk nonsense about social situations and things I notice? Apparently because it's not what people want to read and will not get me anywhere. That is exactly what is wrong with the world of the media, and this is a word which I think encapsulates it in one, manipulative. It's a world that is concerned with how everything you do, whether it's a blog, the way you dress or the angle at which you scratch your right buttock, can help project an image to others. I'm obviously aware that as a stand up comedian it appears that pandering to other people is something which I'm paid to do. I, however, say stuff that I think is funny and hopefully other people do, which means I have fun and enjoy myself. Therefore, why do people always worry about every minute detail in their life and how it will reflect upon them? Instead, do something because it's enjoyable and don't worry whether you have catchy angle. This may not be profound but I'm just sick to death of listening to people talk phony nonsense about unimportant crap using buzz words such as, 'niche', 'demographic', 'social trend' and phrases like, 'an idea I fully believe in'.

Now just to clarify I'm not a hippie or anything like that but if I want to digress and talk about pointless stuff, so what? It's enjoyable and is for my own pleasure not to appease some random bloke called Marcus, who dresses trendy and is totally in touch with the new socio-economic trends of 2009.

rant over.

Tuesday 20 January 2009

Comedy Night update and Being a bit rubbish at batting

So on an events based update, I can confidently say the comedy night should be a success. I have about 6 comedians lined up to participate on March 9th including Jack Whitehall and Russell Howard off the television. How exciting?! There will also be other top notch mirth makers on, however, the general public are very fickle and only really get attracted by people from the little black box in their living rooms.

My cricket ability seems to have taken a nose dive on the batting front, whilst my bowling has improved. At Lords on Saturday I got 3 wickets and couldn't resist bellowing 'f- you' when I bowled out BJ. I obviously have a swearing disease as there were children in the adjacent net. It turns out one of them is 13 year old in one of my PE classes, which is hardly ideal as he probably noticed that somebody who is meant to be teaching him to be good at sport is clearly inept at cricket. On a slight digression, one kid in a class yesterday made me chuckle when he said to his classmate in a haughty manner, 'my sister can climb a lamppost...and she's only 8.' The things children boast about now really have changed. I'm pretty sure when I was 13 I was telling people that I had a table tennis table in my garden and left my sister's climbing skills well out of the equation.

I was also chatting to Wes as we were leaving the nets and he used a profanity on two occasions quite loudly next to some young children. I ironically enough told him to watch his potty mouth as it sets a bad example to the younger generation: how the tables have turned Mr Wesley? Put that in your dirty mouth and chew on it!

I had a minor scare on Sunday when I popped in to visit the woman who released me into the world: my mother. It turns out she has suffered from altitude sickness and so had my sister, to the extent that when my sis was supposed to go up this mountain in Asia she couldn't go all the way up. Fiddlesticks! If altitude sickness is hereditary I'm almost certainly screwed. Having said that, my Dad is fine with that sort of thing so hopefully my sister inherited the rubbish altitude genes and I will have my Dad's. I hope that doesn't mean I end up with my Dad's low metabolism in later life, I unlike him, do not want to be of a size where a standard issue set of scales does not in fact go up to my weight.

We will only know when we are up there if I can handle the altitude...watch this hopeful space

Sunday 4 January 2009

We only have 4 friends

It is called the Ramsey Theory, thought up by some geezer called Frank Ramsey who was initially trying to solve something mathematical. So Mr Ramsey would probably not be a big fan of the Facebook.

Google Frank Ramsey

Going back in time to October 8th 2008- The launch party

Apologies to those of you confused the temporal yoyoing of this blog but I was very loose at updating it till a couple of months ago. Last time I went back into the more distant past was for the launch pub crawl at the end of May. Between then and the launch party my Everest based antics were put on the back burner as I was trying to be funny in Edinburgh, doing very little fitness and consuming excessive amounts of yeast and hops. This blog really should be called the fitness and boozing blog. It seems that almost every entry consists of these two elements, which may be tedious to most readers, however, It is quite simply the truth. I could lie and say that I did some sponsored midget juggling but alas this has yet to come into fruition; if anyone has the phone number for a juggling school and at least 3 tiny people then please do get in touch.

Back to the official launch party, which happened almost exactly 3 months ago. It involved drinking but unsurprisingly no fitness, there was not even any obligatory one armed press up competitions (this normally happens when teams of men get near each other in civilised social situations). I say it was civilised because it was a dress up event in the brilliantly posh South Kensington venue called The Collection, although, it's important to note that there were also computer games there. Those of you who could not make it will be pleased to know that it was8 schnitzels for a bottle of beer, which whether you're in an economic crisis or not is still utterly extortionate. Me and my pals managed to go for the very student-based option of down as many drinks as possible before the the free bar runs out. This worked and although there were only 200 people instead of 400 in attendance, it was a success.

The initial target of 400 people attending seemed realistic at first, however, at 30 banjos a ticket you can see why it's a bit of a stretch for most people. It also turns out that we have far less good friends than we think. Some of us on the expedition share friends but not only that, some girl once told me that there is a theory that someone clever has written where human beings only have 4 good friends. Admittedly, I need to research that more with some more details such as...a name of...a person before you can take that as factually accurate or noteworthy. Watch this space.

Money was raised and people had fun. That's the point of a launch party so there can't be too many complaints aside from the heart warming thought that each and every one of us may or may not have less than 5 real friends. Bye.